The emotional and psychological trauma and grief that you have to pass through when you lose someone you love, is beyond words. It doesn’t end there though. There is no one to rescue you, or save you, or make it all better, because you have truly lost what you loved, and it can never be replaced. Going forward is hard, but for the sake of your future and anyone who is dependant on you making it through this, there are some things you need to take care of, no matter how devastated you are. If you have no one in your life capable, caring, kind hearted, or motivated enough to help you, you have to take of yourself. Here are some important and basic things a woman needs to know about finances in order to avoid being completely taken advantage of.
1 .Do not give all your money away to counselors hoping to get comfort and answers. There are many clever and greedy ones out there who will happily take what they can.
2. Learn what it really takes financially to live. What is the cost per month for necessities? You don’t have him to protect and provide for you anymore. Really look at things practically. Buying “stuff”to make things better isn’t what you need.
3. Beware of financial planners who want you to mortgage your home to get funds for investment, or anything else they come up with to get your money. Once you learn what your real basic needs are, you can look at what kind of income you need.
4. Say NO to ANY man that suddenly falls in love with you!!! It’s going to take a long, long time, to get over your husband. Being on your own is hard, but necessary.
5. Reduce your level of commitment, responsibilities, and chores if you can. You need time to rest, take care of yourself, and get through grief that is physically and emotionally devastating.
6. Ofcourse, if you have children they need your full time attention and care. That means they come before anything.
I knew none of this and was a victim of all the mistakes I talk about. I wish I had been more aware and knowledgable.
I was 18 when I moved in with my husband and never had to work outside the home and was very sheltered. Along with being completely devastated, it was like being thrown to the wolves when my husband died. I was easy prey for the counselors, realtors, financial advisors, and anyone I turned to for help. It was a very unsafe time for me, and I have paid with my soul, for every lesson I have learned, to get through it.
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