Growing Everyday

What kind of things have I learned from adversity in my life?
That being right isn’t as important as love.
I had no way to feel better when my husband died. Some people blamed me for being a difficult wife, some of his family and their friends happily blamed me.
I have had to look at myself, because blame or no blame, the pain wasn’t going to stop.
It was hard to live.
I have learned so much that I didn’t see before. How simple everything could have been. I did make things hard.
I am still deeply grateful to my husband for everything I have learned.
Still. I am so sad that he is not here to go forward in this life with me.
I wish I could have learned how to appreciate his love while he was here.
I was influenced by people in my life that were either jealous or manipulating.
I was nieve.
I thought I had to prove something, when I didn’t. I had everything in the world. Everything. He loved me, cared and took care of me. Now it makes me sad to think I was so misinformed by my own family that that wasn’t good enough.
Today I try to appreciate every little thing.
I know I am more caring and thoughtful of others. I know I have to be true to myself.
Thank you Robin.


2 responses to “Growing Everyday”

  1. That must have been painful, feeling you weren’t loving enough? WE have to learn these lessons, don’t we! You’re very lucky that you’ve taken yours on board.

    1. Perceptive, thanks. So much regret at not being loving enough. So much. Yes I have learned to treasure being on board the ship of learning to be kinder. To the detriment of my material well being. Had to relearn being strong in a healthier way. Men saw easy prey for many years.
      I love your post talking to Madame Sputnik. I had horrible men come into my life after and had my worst side mirrored back to me in excruciatingly clear ways. Cost me a lot, but thankfully I’m still here and I treasure the truth.

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